Between YOu

I had been wanting to have a sister (an adopted sister, never mind) instead of my elder brother. Eventually, Allah gave me a brother again, a little pampered brother. I was so hopeless. I thought I was a sad girl. 

Till today, I have only brothers and now with a sister-in law plus a niece but will never ever have brothers-in law :D.

Though I had never experienced living with a sister, having female cousins and friends are too enough. I am grateful to have only brothers in this quarter of a century of my life. Their presence means so much and their absence might trouble my feelings quite often.  Also, their ignorance taught me some lessons and forced to be understanding of men's world, their nature. Without them, it would be rather more difficult to find the true treasure of mine as a girl.

I have been thinking of writing about you, brothers, my brothers, for a long time. After I finished the stories of mother and father (only the small part of the whole truly story), and before I start writing about somebody else, a beautiful song reminds me of you. Then, I started it and had been typing thousands of words in pages but suddenly all was gone in a second. It was a bit depressing. I insincerely decided to postpone the writing till uncertain time. 

Not long after that, I came over to a book store without any intentions (no plan before, I actually accompanied my friend to shop kids' stuff but I thought it would be better if I waited for her in a book store).

There it was! A book entitled A Sibling Effect was on the display bookshelf in the middle of the room of New Arrival section. The front cover which is  coloured black looks "Ow" ; it should be a very 'serious' book and obviously non-fiction. First, I was not so interested. Sooner, I didn't know why, I came to the section, again, three times, and took the book and finally read the back cover which was tremendously shocking me! The time stopped and began to count back as if I were falling myself into the Doraemon's magic drawer.

I wish you were beside me at that moment. The floor was rumbling and my soul was shaking. I couldn't hide the truth that I really really miss you so much.  My tears were looking for your shoulders to hug. I couldn't stand on my own feet.

I was reminded to write again.

You might have thought I was 'crazy' writing this. Or, you just may simply guess what I wrote is useless. Eh, well whatever it is, I always believe this writing will be a great history of ours, especially to me at very least and people around, our generations, soon or late. Don't you think that what I am going to write is yeah all right. I am going to be the first sister, the first lady :D in the big big family, neighbourhood, district, city or even country , that writes sincerely about the amazingly precious  unique living creature called brothers ^_^. Uh, I am sorry to boast. I am not a crow, anyway.

However, you are the ones that cause me to make it happen, creating an unforgeable true story of our wonderful childhood and youth. I have no other purposes instead of that. Your existence, your presence so far is very meaningful and important. Though, it will be never enough to represent my whole thoughts and feelings about you, I am quite happy to let you know it by myself.

I have learnt that so many people are trying hard to hide their true feelings towards their beloved ones. Just as it became very too late, they realised their foolishness. They regretted not telling the truth. Why, I always ask myself, wondering. Why is it hard to tell the people that we love them? Are we shy? Why should we be shy? Are you not used to expressing that kind of feeling? If not, why don't you take a try? We are one family; we are brothers and sisters. It is a 'must' for us to let one another know that we love and care.

People are often only able to express their feelings through deeds. They think it would be more touching and 'effective&efficient'. A number of facts prove that the way results unexpectedly. Words, but deeds are truly needed. However, if the deeds were done without words, they would be tasteless, empty. The power of words! Don't you believe that?

Brothers, you might have disbelieved me in these words. If you then really disbelieve me, it won't make me question. However, I will be very upset and feel so disappointed. I hope I can tell you before it will be too late. That's why I am doing it now. As long as I can breathe if you want it, after this writing has been done, I will say it every day to you even though you can't hear and see me. It won't tell enough how much I feel, but I want to say it sincerely, "Thank you for everything and I really love you so much".

For an indefinite time, I had been misunderstanding about first and true love. I thought it was someone else out there. I was wrong. The people were so close. I just didn't realise your long-time precious presence till we finally live apart like now. Again, I only hope it won't be too late, for me, for you, to tell the truth. And, I just want you to know it from me, not from anyone else.

In these three years, I have successfully proved that I am independent as what you had been always hoping for so long. I made sacrifices to make it true. One is not to see, meet and talk with you. I found it too hard and felt pain inside. I wonder, did I already fulfil your hope and satisfy your soul? Since then, you never ask or even tell me anything. I left you behind first, indeed, and now we did it each other.

 

I am your star and you are my love and moonlight.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

To me, this song is on earth, for you.

I wonder why you and me fight each other

Don't you see the similarities between us?

Take a minute and see yourself in the mirror

You look like me: those eyes, lips - you can't deny

Have you thought about

Why we look the same?

Why we feel the same?

Don't tell me it's by chance

Oh, you're my brother

You're my sister

We're one big family

Oh, you're my brother

You're my sister

Just one big family

It doesn't matter if you live far away from me

You feel I feel, you bleed I bleed, you cry and I cry

We sleep and dream

Sometimes we're sad, sometimes we're happy

You breathe I breathe

We love, walk, talk and we smile

Have you thought about

Why we look the same?

Why we feel the same?

Don't tell me it's by chance

Oh, you're my brother

You're my sister

We're one big family

Oh, you're my brother

You're my sister

Just one big family

I care about you

And I wish you could realise

There's no difference between us two

We're part of one family

No matter how far you are

And even if we don’t know each other

Oh, you and me, me and you, we are one

Oh, you're my brother

You're my sister

We're one big family

Oh, you're my brother

You're my sister

Just one big family

=========================================================

To be continued....